The mafia hit my house last night…….
Time Warner Cable
In a push to make my life more convenientI have bundled service (cable, phone, internet) through Time Warner. So as the service goes down at 5:30 pm last night (was still out at 7 am this morning when I left for work) so goes my connection to the outside world. No email, no phone, no news. So as I am sitting there watching my son play Sonic for the Wii, my cell phone rings and rings and rings. Some of the side effects of recovery can be cauliflower ears, loss of hearing in the right ear, and even head trauma…especially if your signifcant other hits you in the head with something to get your attention because you have been on the phone too long.
I took 3 calls last night, 2 text messages, and they all dealt with situations with spouses, ex-girlfriends, and wives. I have learned when I speak to the guys I sponsor, it is not unusual for my wife to blurt out something when I am talking because she does not understand what I am trying to convey to the person I am speaking to. She is looking at things from a non-addict perspective and even though she has the best of intentions, it does not help. I usually end up outside on the phone for privacy and concentration.
I learned very early on not to go beyond my experience level…….
It does not help them
It does not help me
Alot of what my guys were talking about last night is that they want me to solve their problems for them or tell them exactly what to do. I got caught up in this early on thinking I was helping and I wasn’t. Today, I have to be more realistic than this and let them know at some point common sense has to prevail. That decisions need to be made, not based on impulse, but rather based in facts. I have been stressing this in my own recovery as of late…..
What are the facts of the situation?
I can make up all kinds of here-say, rumor, and inconsistencies based on my thinking and consulting myself on my own problems. But what are the facts? There is a line in the Basic Text that rings as true today as when I first read it.
If it isn’t practical, it’s probably not Spiritual. I need to be able to have the willingness to look at all sides, and make sound decisions based on facts, not on feelings. In the past when I made decisions based on feelings, all bets were off. Alot of people got hurt, myself included. So I need to be able to step back and look at the situation, gather the facts, talk to others, and make decisions about my own life.
At some point I need to move my life forward and participate in it.
It seems easy to trade opinion or advice for experience especially when I am trying to help. In the end, if I move away from experience and tread into areas were my ego is the guiding voice instead of experience, a dangerous road lies ahead. It’s not one I am willing to walk or guide anyone down today.
Take Care…..Bob D.