Just Another Recovering Person

I post on a couple of different sites. If you are in recovery there is a social networking site for recovering people (All Fellowships welcome) called In The Rooms. Here is the link:

www.intherooms.com

I try and stay informed about things. I try and remain open minded but there are times, especially in dealing with some members, it is more difficult than I want to admit. I read a post yesterday about “conspiracy theories” at the World Level. For those of you who are not addicted or in 12 Step Programs, my fellowship, Narcotics Anonymous, is in 127 different countries. We have meetings in countries that you and I cannot get a passport to.

I read, talk to other members, stay connected and I am not aware of some grand conspiracy to mass manipulate the fellowship by a few who are believed to be in power. I do believe aliens landed in Roswell, but not that NA is trying to mind control folks thru literature sales…:)

At any rate there were some posts that just rubbed me the wrong way. People with long periods of clean time 15 and 20 plus years who are feeding information to newcomers about events that happened in 1979. How in the hell am I supposed to be in a Just for Today Program if I am holding onto resentments that happened 20 years ago? I understand our fellowship has went through turmoil. So has AA, so has any 12 Step Program. Why?

Ego, Manipulation, and Dishonesty.

The brighter fact in all of this is I met a guy on line who works at the World Service Office and thanked me for my post. He then gave me the link to add input on a project for a new book called, “Living Clean: The Journey Continues”. One of the great things about the new revised 6th Edition of the text is that the stories in the back are updated to reflect ongoing recovery versus I used and stopped as found in the 5th Edition. So a positive came out of a seemingly negative ordeal.

I passed on my position to another member at my home group last night and bid farewell to them. It is time for me to move on to another group and help there. I had mixed feelings about it. I still remember walking into the smelly basement of that church some 3 and a half years ago. It was only my second NA meeting. I have been involved there since then, every Wednesday at 8pm. I watched the group grow, struggle, grow a little more and now finally be a stable force on our schedule and our community. It’s time to go to a new group and help do the same.

“All we did was some some seeds”.  Jimmy K. Co-Founder of Narcotics Anonymous.

The guy that called me on Tuesday that felt recovery was not paying off called me yesterday. He says he needs to go to a meeting and reconnect because he doesn’t want to use.

Imagine That.

Take Care……Bob D.

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Comments on: "In a Just for Today Program……" (2)

  1. What’s up Bob? Funny topic. I got clean in the WSO area. I know almost everyone that works at the world and they’re some amazing people. I had coffee last night with the gentleman who asked you for input on the “Living Clean” project. They’re just addicts like us. Actually, I was there on Saturday morning listening to a private broadcast of the World Convention. I’m proud to call these people my friends. To me, these are people who have decided to be professional trusted servants. Some of the most respected recovery is in that building and I can’t show up there without being embraced with love. It’s just a conspiracy theory like you said.

    Ok, enough sticking up for my friends. 🙂 A friend of mine went out. This one really bothers me. He’s just an 18 year old kid but what really bothers me is that he’s using to numb his pain. I know we all have done that but I guess it’s because he’s honest about it. He says he’s got to use or he’ll kill himself. I can surely relate. I woke up at out of my sleep last night at 2:30am immediately thinking about him. What can I say to help him, I thought. What can I do. I know I’ve got co-dependency issues and see this guy as a little puppy. I have the impulse to tell him he can come stay with me for awhile and get away from that environment. I really want to take his pain away. So, at 3am I decided to send him a text and let him know that the disease plays upon our feelings. Feelings of loneliness, rejection and self pity. He thanked me and told me he loved me.

    I layed there for another hour thinking about him. It saddens me. It also makes me grateful to be clean today.

    Love ya Bob!!

    • beyondtheendoftheroad said:

      Hey Cory…
      I went throught the same thing with the very 1st guy I sponsored. He stayed clean for over a year and then relapsed. Stayed clean for a month, then relapsed, stayed clean and then disappeared….I haven’t seen or heard from him now in over a year. Very painful.
      It taught me that I have compassion, love, and care for my fellow addict. It also taught me the true meaning over powerlessness and gave me a glimpse of what my own family went through with me.
      It goes back to desire and how I have no way of measuring it, even in myself at times, and that no one, I mean no one, stays clean for anyone….but themselves.
      Stay the course…and see the miracle, it’s not hard to spot….It’s all around you.
      Much Love…..Bob D.

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