Just Another Recovering Person

puddle

If God is God, why shouldn’t I expect God to be working in my life?

I’m not a preacher, or a guy that goes to church every Sunday. The last time I was at a church was for a building dedication of one. The time before that it was for a Christmas Service and before that a wedding I think. That’s not counting the countless basements of churches I’ve been in where meetings are held. Funny, we hold recovery meetings in the basements of buildings we don’t want anything to do with but are grateful for the space provided for a meeting.

 I’m not here to debate whether you believe in God or not. If you want to do that post your own blog. All I know is what is true in my life, and I believe there is something greater at work in my life than what I can see, call it what you’d like, I’ll call it God. It’s not that bad to believe in God, unless when you think of God you think of Charlton Heston, as I did for the better part 2 years of recovery. It’s true, every time someone would say God in a meeting I had a picture of Heston in my minds-eye as Moses or whatever. Ideas gathered from the past. I have come to believe…….

It’s not possible for me to describe God to you, you need to find it for yourself.

Finding something usually means getting turned around, getting lost, asking for directions, falling into mud-puddles, and eventually…..eventually stumbling upon it by sheer luck or gliding up to it as if you knew where it was all along. I’ll go with the stumbling part, it suits me better.

Lapses in emotional and spiritual condition result in relapse. Ours is a disease of the spirit as well as that of the mind and body. The solutions are spiritual in nature…let’s not be confused about it. So what is a Spiritual Mud-puddle?

I would define it as a feeling more than an actual event. It is that feeling that things aren’t going the way I feel like they should, that old saying that petty frustrations, minor setbacks, and loneliness often make us feel like we aren’t getting any better. We ignore the practical decisions we need to make and fall into complacency and apathy about our situations, about our very lives. We become full of doubt and denial and the 1st Step begin to conflict in our minds. Remember in the 1st Step we are “Powerless over our addiction“. Addiction is much more than just the physical use of drugs, much more. Outward unmanageability may be in check but the internal struggle of self-will, self-sabotage, and self-centeredness are like the 3 musketeers on a rampage. We get stuck in the mud-puddle and struggle till it’s quicksand up to our necks only to find that the only way out of the mud-puddles is acceptance. Acceptance that I can either walk around the puddles or jump in them (Sometimes puddle jumping for real is fun) and soak. I am reminded that all feelings eventually pass…..If I give them the chance to pass……Sometimes I don’t. I soak in them like soaking in a mud-puddle because it is familiar pain and I haven’t got a clue as to what to do.

Sometimes I need a rope tossed to me. God, I have found, speaks to me through other people, places, and events. In looking at those things with an open mind I can usually see where God has tried to tell me something, or show me something, or better yet…”Hey Dummy!!!!  Here’s The Rope..Grab Hold”!!!!!! I have friends who have my best concerns at heart that point out things to me in a loving way that allows me to see my wrongs or crazy thinking. I have a family who supports me. I have a program that works in my life. If you are reading this and feel like you are in a spiritual mud-puddle…..

Here’s the rope…….Grab Hold.
Take Care……Bob D.

 

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