Just Another Recovering Person

Pot Luck

Don’t let the title fool you.

Just some random stuff I have come across over the last couple of days. I’m trying not to be too serious so bear with me on this. Just some thoughts on posts I have been reading.

I read a post about predatory behavior in AA (I believe it to exist in all 12 Step Programs) that talked about groups maintaing a “safe haven” for people attending and whose responsibility this rests on. As in most fellowships we are not paid professionals to measure or base a determination as to who may pose a “danger” to another member. You know what I say to this….


We are each others eyes and ears. That is a quote from the NA Text. I am also reminded in our literature that it is each members responsibility to provide an atmosphere of recovery. I have watched members with substantial time literally fuck newer members of both sexes right out the door. This is not just a guy problem, it is a universal problem. Someone new who may or may not be dealing with a variety of issues such as low self-esteem, sexual abuse, manipulative behavior, and co-dependency issues is expected to deal with the over whelming feelings of sex, relationships, and the inevitable dump by another person all while trying to stop using drugs? To come back to a group after everyone in the room knows what has happened? Come on. I know I am not the only one who has seen this type of behavior exhibited before.

The solution is you and I. You and I sharing our experience with people we sponsor, fellow home group members, and especially newer members. I have yet to work with one individual in my almost 4 years who doesn’t have some type of sexual baggage, myself included. It can be anything from feelings of inadequacy to much bigger issues that aren’t suited to go into depth here. To sit back and wait for a fellowship to make a decision that is affecting lives right now is not practical and it’s also not what the principles of any 12 Step program really stand for.

I read another post about a guy with 6 months reconnecting with his family. It always does my heart well to read posts like this. I mean I am just as guilty as the next person in writing about the negative in my life and not writing enough about the positives. Just to read a story of people sitting in a room, grateful for this fellow’s return to “sanity” is enough to warrant more than a smile.

My friend Sandra is burning up the posts with The Lost Journal. There is a link on my page. It is for MATURE READERS ONLY, if you are offended easily DO NOT BOTHER. I find it to be incredibly captivating. The last 2 posts had me queasy but excited all at the same time. I don’t know if it’s good or bad, but I like the writing. Check it out.

A local paper did a story on a guy I know and his writing a blog on here about the Columbus music scene in the late 80’s and early 90’s and a kind of where are they now segment style. I was surprised to see the coverage and put a link on my blogroll. It was surreal for me to read about some of the places I used to go back then brough to life by this fellow. I wonder if I bumped into him and just didn’t realize it.

 The name on the post is:


Check it out.

Last but not least, I stumbled across a blog of a person who had a family member-twice removed or something like that, who was going on about this person being addicted. You know the story, life being ruined, family torn apart, intervention needed (not necessarily the tv show..I’ll explain) and just wondering if there was someone who could help. I gave her NA’s website. It’s not that I want credit for anything, it’s more along the lines that people see glorified shows such as Intervention, Celebrity Rehab, and The Cleaner and think that this is what is truly needed for someone to get clean. It is true, treatment may be an option, but I also know that going to a meeting may be the first step in many steps on this journey to recovery.

I hope she finds what she is looking for.
I did.

Take Care…..Bob D.


Comments on: "Pot Luck" (4)

  1. Hey Bob … thanks for the comment.

    And for the kind words here.

    Haven’t the time to read more of your blog yet (me and the oldest are off to Scouts now), but I will.

  2. Good post. I’m dealing with something similar. Someone in the rooms has spread rumors about my past. I’m having problems going to the same meetings that this guy is at. It’s been causing me physical issues such as an upset stomach for the last 2 weeks. I just don’t feel like going to meetings that this guy is at. I’m struggling.

    • beyondtheendoftheroad said:

      I have found Cory that people that do this soon find themselves on the outside looking in. They are called self-seekers. My suggestion would be to walk into that meeting with your head held high, walk through the fear, and hug this guy. I know it sounds difficult, but it is not impossible. Something will change, and it probably won’t be him.

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