Just Another Recovering Person

My Mom almost loved me almost to death……
So did my Wife…..
My Kids……
My Employer……

I remember back a number of years ago sitting at home and my mom handing me a bag of dope….

This is from your Uncle…I didn’t want to give it to you…but…….

But she did anyway.

I was speaking to a couple of folks outside of a meeting about feelings, relationships, friends with benefits, and so on. Kinda like an extension of the last post I put up. I told them that the people in our lives really only want to see us get better…They just don’t know how it’s possible or how to go about it.

In this day and age of media overload, television shows, WebMD, and various outlets one would think that there is enough information for those who have a drug or alcohol problem to have the resources to get help.
There is only one problem with that.

Family members are loving people to death by enabling them.
Denial isn’t just for the addict.

God knows my family did it with me. I wonder what might have happened if they had taken a stand earlier? It doesn’t matter at this point. I’m not trying to get clean…I am clean. I am not saying that family members can keep people clean either, I want to make this point perfectly clear:

An Addict will not stop using…Until they are ready to stop.

So family members are left to love folks at a distance. Boundaries are needed. Conditions and rules set.
It is difficult to watch a loved one waste away to addiction, it is another to continue to help them. Be prepared to deal with the storm before the calm.

Faced with the toughest question of all:
Don’t you love me enough to stop?
The answer was no. I had no idea of what love was or wasn’t anymore.
The obsession, the compulsion, the denial, the guilt, was all too much.
The emotional, spiritual, and mental bankruptcy of a human being, a family, a community, a society.

There is hope. I don’t know what makes one person stop and another to continue. I stopped trying to figure that out. What I do know is this….

If you or a loved one has a problem, help is available.

www.na.org

Take Care.

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Comments on: "Don’t You Love Me Enough to Stop?" (3)

  1. So very true for many of us Bob,
    My husband almost loved me to death! even though he knew better?
    But as you wrote, “an addict will not stop using… until they are ready to stop”

    Sadly, for some it is too late,
    I have had many friends, who’s family disowned them, saying don’t phone, don’t knock, don’t bother coming back until you clean yourself up.

    For some, it can result in a death sentence. For others it becomes a mutual boundary line the addict knows better not to try crossing any more.

    Who’s to know how it will turn out in the end?

    Good Post! 🙂

    Stay Strong!
    ~S

  2. […] dont-you-love-me-enough-to-stop/ […]

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