I got home last night at 7:30 after an 11 hour day. Tired and cold, my wife is farming on Farmville and my son is in a firefight on CODMW2. I smell something cooking but couldn’t tell you what it is…My mind is someplace else.
I have been obsessing over this talk tomorrow night for the NYE event. To the point of distraction. My friend Bela who has a blog on here made a valid point in a conversation with a friend who told him, “I want to be famous”. Bela’s translation of this, and it is fitting, is that this person meant they would rather be immortal. Makes sense. What I want is to say something so profound people will remember it. I am placing my ego ahead of the primary purpose of why someone is asked to speak at an NA event. No one person speaks on behalf of NA, rather I am asked to speak about me. I am asked to tell a little about what it was like, what happened, and what it is like today in no certain order.
All of the times I have spoken I have not dwelled on past events. I have not spoken about using for 45 minutes and then saved the last 10 minutes for, “How great my life is today”. I have never believed in that. I have tried to focus more on our literature and what it means or how it applies to my recovery today. I needed to remind myself of this here, even if it only makes me accountable to myself. In writing, when I put thoughts down in front of myself to re-read, I can sort them out better.
Here is a thought…If no one person speaks on behalf of NA, how is it one person feels they can speak on the ills of NA and it have any weight?
I am told we are a fellowship, or society of men and women. One person’s voice against the noise of society is just that…more noise. I am glad I belong to a group whose voice is carried by the productive, drug free lives of 10’s of thousands.
Short week this week. One more day and a 3 day weekend. Our area’s convention is this weekend as well. I may stop by on Saturday and see what is going on. I’ve been to a few convention’s but it’s really just not my thing. I think we spend a lot of time, money and effort to put these things on to celebrate recovery, when everyday is a celebration in itself. I mean, Today is a gift, that’s why it’s called the present.
Homegroup is tonight. I did not make it there last week due to a stomach virus, and the Holiday. It will be nice to see everyone and check in.
I hope you enjoy your Wednesday.
Take Care…..Bob D.