Just Another Recovering Person

Snowboards and Suicide

Anywhere but here……

My head hurts. So much has happened in 3 days it’s like a carnival has come in and set up where my life should be.
Early dismissal on Thursday, no school on Friday so I missed work because my daughter who is 15 cannot take care of herself let alone her 11-year-old brother.
So it snowed and the city shut down like I predicted, it was pretty much a sure bet. So the kids went outside Friday night to make snow angels, or devils based on how you look at it. To play, sled on a small hill. My wife after much insistence thought it would be good for me to go outside with them.
My son has a plastic “Snowboard” if you want to call it that. It is designed to look like a snowboard but it is a piece of plastic with two plastic straps. He seemed to navigate on it just fine which led me to believe because I am older and wiser that I should be able to do the same……wrong.

After I drove my shoulder and right side into the ground, well I thought it was the ground but came to find out it was actually the sidewalk covered in 4 inches of snow, I realized I was not made for this plastic snowboard. It seems that my balance is just not all that. My daughter had a video camera and filmed the event. I was suprised it did not make it on to YouTube. Don’t ask…I’m not putting here.

The weekend went by as it does. My daughter made plans for Saturday as she does. I’m going to spare you the long drawn out details but the end results were the same as I have posted on here before.
Lies, Bad Choices, Her Flipping Out, and this time running out of the house with a pair of sweats, a tee-shirt, and no shoes out into the cold and snow. She ran to her Uncle’s house whom immediately told her to get out. He didn’t want her craziness there. She came home, caused more hell, and of course 2 hours later acted as if nothing was wrong.

I am out of ideas and quite frankly have run out of love for today.

I told my wife this morning that I believe she no longer needs to live with us. I am not sure who she is going to live with but I don’t believe it will be with us longer. I really don’t want to talk anymore about it.

During all of this nonsense my best friend Jeff called to tell me his father committed suicide yesterday.
His father decided to go to his workshop, took his false teeth out and put a gun in his mouth….His mother found him after hearing the shot.

I talked with Jeff for an hour on the phone last night. Listened, cried, and later felt like life was just too much for some, especially Jeff’s dad. It feels like it is too much now for Jeff, for me, for my family. I spoke to my sponsor last night and he said it sounded like this was just more for me to endure now for whatever reason.
I’ve never really disagreed with my sponsor before, but I didn’t like the word endure. I still don’t.

My thoughts are with Jeff’s Mom and his brothers. No one should have to endure this.

Bob D.


Comments on: "Snowboards and Suicide" (1)

  1. God Bob… That’s a lot…

    First of all my deepest condolences to Jeff and his mother. One desperate, selfish act leaves a lifetime of pain and wreckage for those left behind. When did it become such an act of bravery just to love someone???
    As for Lorna, I agree that you and your wife and son can not continue to have your home abducted by a teenager. My best friend Lisa was sent to boarding school for her high school years. She now believes it was the best thing to ever happen to her. Have you looked into sending her to boarding school next school year? No matter what, know that I deeply sympathize and I am truly sorry you have such hard decisions to make.
    As for the bad balance. Go to yoga. Finally a problem I can solve. Try to have more of those in your next blog ok bob?

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