I am sure there are a million bloggers going on about the tragedy in Haiti now. There are pleas from the American Red Cross, The Salvation Army, and even Wyclif Jean for money. But sometimes a picture does more than what a tweet, text, or FaceBook update can do…..
They cried in the streets…The end of the world has come…God Save Us.
On a more personal note……
I cried yesterday at a meeting.
I cried this morning in the parking lot of a UDF. I cried out loud to God, what it is that he wants me to do? How to go about this. I tried again this morning to talk to my daughter about things and it ended terribly. It ended with her telling me as long as “I don’t make her mad” everything will be ok.
As she got out of the car I watched my hope, my very being leave my body. I am powerless over this. I realized this as I screamed into the phone at my wife, taking my frustrations out on her. Justifying what I was saying based on anger. The Text tells me that anger is my reaction to my present reality. Right now my present reality and grip on life is not good.
My wife cried over the phone. Telling me I was giving up, that she was worried about me. That I was leaving her, that I wanted to get rid of my daughter. That I had given up on them.
This broke my heart and has sent me into a tailspin.
Crying in the streets isn’t limited to Haiti.
I’m supposed to meet with a guy about helping me with the credit cards I overspent on. This has been on my mind as well.
I guess most of the pain I am in is self-induced one could say. Maybe not. The point being is that right now…..I just don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel. That’s the way I feel. I just don’t know what I am supposed to do now……