Just Another Recovering Person

I wrote something this morning and it seemed off so I trashed it. I’m glad I did, it doesn’t seem important now.
I’m sitting here with recovery block. What’s that? It’s where I try to impart some Spiritual Wisdom on you that when forced sounds like bullshit.
That’s at least what I was talking to one of my guys last night about. We have already reviewed his 1st Step and I suggested to him to read the 1st Tradition.

I’ve read it and think I’ve got it.
Good.
What does it mean?
What?
What does it mean?
It means unless I am taking care of my personal recovery, we as a group can’t take care of the ourselves.
What do you mean personal recovery?
Read Chapter 5…….

Ahhhh. Sometimes these guys…..

Anyway I am working with 4 guys right now. One guy I am giving his 2 year coin to tonight. That is the bright spot today, I am looking forward to it.

I don’t have a lot to report. We are still waiting on my Aunt to send pictures of this house. Work has been hectic as usual. Meetings about the incident last week continue on.
My daughter introduced us to her 18-year-old boyfriend last night. He just turned 18 in February and she will be 16 in April. Now before I get a bunch of shit for allowing this here is the way I see it.
I could say no, don’t want him around and she will sneak around to see him which has already happened, or I can say yes and still have the worry but at least have a say in the matter. Picking between 2 evils is never easy.

We met him last night and he was ok. It may last a day, a week, or a month (or until I ship her off down south for the summer). He has a part-time job, is home schooled (Online High School…yes they do that here) has a car, and is well-mannered. He is also African-American.
Now before I get more shit indicating I might be a redneck. I am not opposed to this as long as he treats her well, and respects us as parents.
If he doesn’t treat her will or doesn’t show us respect as her parents then it really doesn’t matter what color anyone was born. I know what color you will be after I am done with you…..Black and Blue.

When I came into work today my boss asked me if I was looking for another job. She asked me if I would be honest with her about it. I told her I would be honest, and that I wasn’t looking.

 I wish I had more for you today but I would just be reaching for something that isn’t there. I hope you enjoy your day.

Bob D.

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Comments on: "Picking Between 2 Evils is Never Easy" (5)

  1. Thanks Bob. I have a recover block too. I’m coming up on my 2 year anniversary and i’m just doing what i’m supposed to but not getting that pink cloud affect right now. I’m not sure about shit and find it hard to preach NA literature to anyone. I’m in a very weird place.

    Love ya big guy,

    Cory.

    • beyondtheendoftheroad said:

      I remember this Cory, it was like I have 2 years and I know what I am supposed to do but not sure what to do. There was a shift that happened not long after that, when i realized that NA and recovery was more than just something I do, it is who I am as a person. It will become clearer, being in a wierd place is ok, just don’t stay too long.

  2. Elizabeth said:

    What was it like giving your sponsee his 2 year coin? I’d love to hear more. What a blessing!
    As to your other post about not being sure on the move becasue you have things you still need to do here. I dunno Bob… If the things you need to do are mainly behavioral changes you can do those today, tomorrow, in Columbus, Louisana or on the moon. Addicts fear change. Maybe that’s all this is.

    • beyondtheendoftheroad said:

      Thanks for the advice.
      Giving this guy his coin was awesome. There are times in working with others I want to take credit for their recovery. I didn’t do the work, he did. I gave him the coin that my sponsor gave to me, I didn’t tell him that though, it’s not like a tradition on Walton’s Mountain or anything, but for me that was truly giving it away to keep it, and I’m cheap like that too.

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