Just Another Recovering Person

I found out 3 things via the Internet last night:

1) My daughter is an habitual liar.
2) My daughter confirmed she is no longer a virgin.
3) My daughter’s 18 year-old boyfriend also has a 7 month old baby.

To receive one of these was hard, but all 3 in a 10 minute time span is overwhelming.

I came from a meeting last night greeted by my wife asking me to sit and the computer and read these emails from our daughter to her friends. It appears she left her Facebook page up and my wife looked at some things.
She had told her friend the reason she no longer has text messaging on her phone is because she was in a fight at Wal-Mart and was arrested and that was her punishment from her parents.
Her texting was taken away because of inappropriate messages and requests for pictures from boys.

She had an email from another guy asking her if she was a virgin and she told him no. The conversation then turned to what her favorite sex position was and if he “could hit dat”.
My stomach turned.

The last one was with her friend in regards to this guy she has been “seeing”. It seems he has a 7 month old baby.
We had a long conversation last night. I remained as calm as possible, and tried to stay on track. Basically our daughter tried to dismiss what we were saying, trying to turn it into something it’s not. I tried to keep the conversation focused. I tried to get my daughter to see that all of this is well, fucking crazy.
It is lie after lie with her. My wife, distraught, looked at me last night and said, “Bob, I don’t even know who our own daughter is anymore. There is something seriously wrong with her.”

I believe the reason Lorna lies is acceptance. She is willing to do anything for it. This is a dangerous thing. I am convinced this is a pattern that her mother and I cannot break alone, Lorna is going to have to learn some hard lessons in order to see that lying is not the way.
I tried to talk to her in a context that she could understand. I asked her to try to look at the bigger picture and where this guy, his child, and her all came together. Her mother, on the other hand, is sitting in the chair making threats about never seeing him again which I know will only drive her away.
My only hope is Lorna will see this in a different light.

I had a guy ask me to sponsor him last night. I said yes and went thru my usual stuff with him.
The meeting last night was about the 3rd Tradition and a topic of living with someone who is not an addict or not in recovery. I have experience on this and did my best to relay what I knew. It sounded contrived. I think it’s because I am talking, not sharing. I could have handled it much more differently than what I did. I guess I sounded like I am better than, and I’m not. I think this has been a problem with me, not talking from the heart as of late and I don’t know why.

My wife spoke to some of her relatives about the house. It seems that the owner lives out-of-state and has not been there to look over the property. So things are on hold. I definitely am going to talk to my wife tonight about formulating a plan to move, whether there or somewhere else here in Columbus.

Some strange things have been going on this week. I have been thinking about or having flashes from past events. I thought of the band I was in for 5 years, the clubs I played in. I thought of an argument I had with my uncle, who is now deceased and how that was left undone. I thought about a guy I used to hang around when I was a teenager. Flashes and glimpses of things. It’s odd, I try not to think of the past as much. Not out of guilt because I could have a pity party all day long. I’m glad life isn’t fair. If life were fair I would be dead, in jail for life, or in a mental institution.
The only fair I know of is the State Fair, and it won’t be here until August.

Take Care…Bob D.

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Comments on: "Flashes and Glimpses of all that’s fair….." (2)

  1. Elizabeth said:

    I will admit I wasn’t suprised with the news on Lorna only because your blog has clearly defined her as a liar, and you mentioned last week that you learned she was sexually active.
    David always says the longest distance is from the head to the heart. It sounds like you finally “really” realized that she is sexually active. I’m so sorry for the pain this is causing. I wish I could fix it…
    I don’t know if this will help or hurt but remember, it’s a myth that guys are the only ones who become sex crazy, crude, lude and stupid when they hit puberty. Girls are just as stupid and just as sexually open. SHe is still the girl you always knew. Remember how ridiculous you were at that age? Imagine if you parents knew all the crap you said and did.
    I’m not defending her… just reminding you that she isnt the only teenage girl on your street who acts like this

    • beyondtheendoftheroad said:

      I am beginning to think these glimpses of things I wrote about is my HP reminding me of some of the stupidist things I have ever done (that I’m willing to divulge here).
      Your right the path from mind to heart is a long one.
      Thanks Elz my special friend. I’m glad you came into my life.

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