Just Another Recovering Person

Laughing with the Police

You can take a kid off the streets, but can’t take the streets out of the kid…..

I want to go where he works and wait. I want to wait with a ball bat or tire iron. Better yet a razor. I would cut him across the back of his ankle, where that tendon is. He would limp the rest of his natural life, and each time he would limp he would think of me…..

This is the kind of stuff that came across my mind last night. After being told to drop this 18 year-old guy, my daughter has decided she would rather sneak. She was wandering the streets of our neighborhood with a ghetto pack of 6 or 7 other kids who are her “friends” and then strangely disappeared. My wife, who had to get a gallon of milk, caught her coming across the road out of another apartment complex while a car, his car sped off.

So in typical fashion my daughter becomes defensive and obstinate. Not wanting to make decisions based in anger I took her phone and told her to go to her room, that I would talk to her in the morning.

I sat, and sat.
1st Mistake
I thought about things.
2nd Mistake
I saw his Facebook profile.
Last Mistake

We talk a lot in the rooms about the masks we wear. This kid wears them too. But I know his type of mask, it is one of a ghetto boy, a hood rat, a gang member would wear. I’ve seen his pics, read his posts, and he is caught up.
If I wasn’t sure before I am sure now, he has no business being around my daughter.

With all of this it seems my mind was or is on sensory overload. I sat at the kitchen island last night with a thousand thoughts running thru my mind, including hurting him. I know that won’t work.
I took a drive to get a pack of smokes.
I saw a prostitute look in my direction. I drove past 2 bars. I am turning on the road back to my house and I notice my jaw is open. That kind of open after I would take a hit. I feel that feeling in the back of my throat…..

God. Please let this stop, I muttered.
This isn’t the answer I am looking for. I know that. What are you thinking?
I got home and sat some more….The phone rang.
It was one of the guys I sponsor who had come from a meeting. They had talked about relapse.
I finished speaking with him and the phone rang again. It was a second fellow I sponsor.
He had been at a meeting and had read the 1st Chapter “Who is an Addict” and talked about “Feeling like using and not using”.
Again, I don’t believe in coincidences so I took it as a sign from a power greater than myself that I was in contact with it whether I wanted to be or not. See I didn’t call my sponsor and reach out like I have been taught. I didn’t pick up my book and read. I didn’t reach out to someone else. Instead I sat with my own thoughts and feelings and the result was the same as it has always been.

What can I do to hurt myself and them.

I got up this morning and tried to talk to my daughter. I gave her clear expectations about cell phones and this guy. I made it clear that we could do it her way or my way, but either one this was going to end one way or the other.
It didn’t go well.
She became mouthy and told me that she would talk to her mother, and “I would see” how things worked out.

I dropped her off at school with that familiar feeling of “I hate things are like this” and “When is it going to end” or better yet “I need my daughter back”.
I stopped at a UDF and there was a police officer in there. I took a chance and approached him and found out something interesting. The State of Ohio has a law in the revised code that states if and adult is coercing a minor, and this person has been told to not have contact with them it is considered “Interference with Custody” and is a misdemeanor charge.

 The police officer empathized with me as he had went through a similar situation with his daughter. He said that it didn’t get better but at least he had a legal course of action that wouldn’t cost him his job and he didn’t end up killing the boy. I laughed. I never had laughed in the company or with a police officer before. I did this morning and I felt a little better.

Violence is never the answer, information is. I sent what I learned to my wife this morning and I feel like I at least have options if I need them. The internet is great for some things but nothing really beats the information available if I can get it from a legit source, and nothing beats the police in this situation.

I am hopeful my day will turn around. I am hopeful this situation will turn around, as always I remain guarded about it all.
Take Care…Bob D.

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Comments on: "Laughing with the Police" (7)

  1. Thanks for being honest. Have you read chapters 3,4 and 5 of the Living Clean project? Amazing stuff.

    http://www.na.org/admin/include/spaw2/uploads/pdf/conference/livclean/LC_Chap3-4-5%20RandI_Mar10.pdf

    • beyondtheendoftheroad said:

      I have read some of the material and have given input on a couple of the chapters. I will check the others out.
      Thanks.

  2. Not exactly an uplifting reply, but too much the truth I am afraid. In days past when children were given away to Churches to be raised by Monks, the Monks often thought that after the child reached the age of five or six their personality was set, and nothing would change them except themselves.

    I guess I am trying to say that beside the obvious (not to me until you pointed it out) things to do, you can’t turn anyone older than ten into someone else.

    Sometimes in parenthood, after you have done all you reasonably can do, you are left on the sidelines to watch and hope.

    Michael

  3. beyondtheendoftheroad said:

    I accidently deleted a comment from a visitor named “Bobby”. It marked it as spam, I apologize.

  4. The thoughts you share of how you are actually dealing with things versus how you feel like dealing with things are probably very telling of growth and strength.

    Out in the active drug world (aka, The Life), you probably would have taken the bat or the razor to the guy.

    You are going through quite a thing and staying clean and sane. These are great things. Life is better when we have a track to run on other than the impuslive behaviour of our addict behaviour.

    Ciao.
    Chaz

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