Maybe the answer doesn’t change, only the question does……
I’ve talked about it before. The 2 questions I rarely get the answers to and if I do get the answer it’s never one I like.
Why and When?
Why does this happen?
When will this happen?
Why do I feel like this?
When will this change?
So on, and So on…..
It’s like in our literature it talks about in “What is the NA Program” and the only thing we are concerned about is “What you want to do about your problem and how we can help”.
How is it possible you quit using drugs….
The cornerstone of action in the NA Program.
Today I will stop asking about why and when, and become more focused on HOW.
Today has been a decent day. I had myself almost convinced to call in after the way I felt yesterday. The pounding in my mouth has stopped. I really didn’t expect to be at the dentist that long. I didn’t expect to return to work but I ended up doing so. We are extremely short-handed at work in my department. I am super glad it is Friday. The weather here has been decent, the sun has been out and it has been warm. It would seem that spring has indeed arrived.
We talked on the phone last night to a lady about a house here outside of Columbus. She talked on the phone to my wife for about 15 minutes. After my wife got off the phone with her, she began to describe the house and talked in a lot of negative terms.
It sounds too small.
How small is too small, I inquired.
It’s too small.
I have a feeling I know where this is headed. A friend of mine printed up at least 30 postings for places. My wife would look at each one and say something about it. I would rather her just come out and say…I want to move down south, than give us both the run around. I am going to say something to her tonight about it.
I need to do some reading tonight.
I’ve been reading a few posts on WordPress about family members who have loved ones that are addicted. Their stories are moving and inspirational, to me, all in the same breath. It got me to thinking about my family.
I know of at least 2 occasions during the last year that I used that my wife called every treatment facility in town to get me help. The problem was I didn’t want help, I wanted to use. So the question simply is this….
What does desperation mean to you?
I have learned it was desperation, afterall, that made me seek recovery. I am interested in what your definition or description of desperation is.
I will give you mine in the next post.
Have a great weekend.