Today is my daughter’s 16th birthday. I’d like to think I’ve been a good dad. Part of me says yes and other parts of me say no. I remember at the end of my using my wife telling me the same things I resented my father for, I was doing to my children. This has stayed with me; that unless I was the one to break the cycle, that it would continue.
Some of you have read long enough to know my daughter has a ‘mental illness’. I’ve been told she has ADD, ADHD, BiPolar Disorder, Rage Disorder, and Aspergers Syndrome. To be honest with you I don’t know what she has or doesn’t have anymore, maybe she just has a lot of rebellious teen in her. The frightening part is she reminds me of me.
There have been days of complete bliss that I longed would never end with her. There have also been days of complete anger and frustration as I have sat and cried and wondered where my daughter has went. Since she turned 13 it has all been a slow downhill ride with her. We have endured 3 years worth of behavior that should have driven me crazy, but it hasn’t. I haven’t used over it. It has been during these times I believe I have experienced my greatest growth.
Happy Birthday my sweet Lorna, you are still my little girl no matter how big of a pain in the ass you can be!