Just Another Recovering Person

An Update

I took a break in packing this morning for 2 reasons. One I am tired of it and two I pulled a muscle in my back. I thought I would take a few moments to let you know what has been going on. I thought I wouldn’t post again until after we had arrived in Louisiana, but I have discovered how much I miss writing each day.

This has been an emotional time for me. My last day at work was the 23rd of April. It was very difficult saying farewell to work colleagues. I had been in that position almost 4 years and didn’t realize how many people I knew not just there but in downtown and through work related contacts. I know that I will miss them and they will miss me. It is a gift on one hand to know this but it doesn’t change the way it feels. It is still painfull too say good-bye or farewell to folks.

We have been busy packing, and making arrangements for the truck, which is now set at May 10th. I expect to be in Louisiana by the 12th. The kids, especially David have been helpful in getting things squared away. I will be going to their schools this week to do their paperwork for release. I have been on the phone with schools, utilities, and any assortment of individuals.

We had dinner with my father on this past Friday. It was very difficult for me. We have had a strained relationship over the years and my father has made a choice not to be actively involved in my life or his grandchildren’s lives. He is still my father and looked older and tired. Not in the best of condition. As we were driving away I felt a sense of closure with him. I also felt that my HP was letting me know that this would be the last time I would see my father alive. I told my wife this. She looked at me and smiled and said, ‘I believe you are right, are you ok?’
I said yes, and I glanced at him one more time…..For whatever happened or didn’t happen…He is still my Dad.

I went to my home group and told everyone my date for leaving. I spoke at a meeting in Deleware, Ohio last night and said goodbye to some folks there. Tonight will be tough because I am going to a meeting that I helped start a year or so ago. I say that not out of ego, or that it will hurt more because I started it. It’s because of these facts I have met everyone who has walked through that door for the past year. We have had good success at that meeting with people staying clean so I know a number of them. My sponsor will be there and I keep putting off what I need to say to him because it will hurt too much.

Well I wanted to let you know what was going on and get some of this out. I hope all of you are well, and I will let you know as soon as we arrive.

Take Care….
Bob D.


Comments on: "An Update" (5)

  1. Hey Bob,

    The start of something new and exciting often is always entwined with the end of something. Having just moved myself, I can really empathise with your feelings. Its not until your bags are packed that you realise what you are leaving behind. But the relationships that you have made can be nurtured – over the phone, on email, on facebook, through you blog – its not the same, but its something.

    I have still not got the support network here that I had in the UK but I trust it will happen. There are good people everywhere. You will find a wonderful group in Louisiana. You may start a new one. And your new sponsor will bring you things you never expected, Im sure. I’m not negating the way you feel now though – its great that you have made the time to say your goodbyes.

    Best of luck over the next 10 days

  2. Elizabeth said:

    I really feel your pain. We don’t realize how connected we are until we start removing those hooks one at a time. It’s definetly a grieving process. The part about your dad made me feel sad. If you can get closure of any kind then you’re closer to acceptance than I am with my mom. It’s inspiring to me.
    Be gentle with your back and yourself. Feel free to write if you need to.

    PS David and I are going to Destin, FL with the boys and his parents mid-August. We’ll be driving straight through Monroe. Maybe we can stop there for lunch and you can mosey over?

  3. Thanks Bob… change is never easy or simple.

    Sounds like you are addressing all important matter, even if they hurt.

    Great choice on being loyal to your father in spite of how he treats you and yours. I am in a similar sitch with mine.

    Look forward to next update.



  4. Thanks for your story. It helps us to take pause when we hear about someone’s day and how they actually process it. I hope you enjoy your move and settle in your new home. Good luck and stick with recovery, it makes everything easier.

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