There is an old saying in recovery and in life…
Where ever I go I take me with me.
I am reminded by the NA Text that:
If we had problems in the past it is unlikely that simple abstinence will solve these problems.
What this means is if I’m not addressing life issues expecting them to simply disappear by not using I am in for a world of trouble. Recovery is more than just not using, it is an active change in our thoughts and ideas of living and accepting life. Acceptance is varying based on my spiritual condition and my spiritual condition is based on my connection to a HP and a daily program for recovery.
Last night I went to a local NA meeting. All of the people there (6) are drug court ordered. One lady has over 3 years, another fellow has 1 year, another 2 years. Most have seemingly ‘been working’ their program through counselors and suggestions from the drug court. It hasn’t been brought up yet but I can tell in subtle ways that the NA Fellowship and ‘Drug Court’ are being considered or affiliated as one in the same. We talked about Step 8 last night and becoming willing to make amends to all people we had harmed by making a list.
There are a couple of people there that are trying to make me feel welcome, but the truth is I feel like the outsider. I know this is natural and it is something I need to work through. I have only been to 2 meetings here since we arrived. The work in moving has just been tremendous. I have a schedule and plan on attending all the meetings in the area, which equate to roughly 6 or 7 and find a few that I like.
Lorna has been seemingly well until last night. Same old story, caught her smoking in the bathroom. She got mad, threw her laptop and broke it. I took her phone away and she took the laptop away by breaking it so it’s one less thing she has now. She spent the next hour crying, screaming, begging, threatening…all in an attempt to get her last link to the outside world back.
My solution was simple…..
I went to bed with it in my pocket.
Lorna is just going to have to deal with things based on her actions. We had her removed from 2 of the medications she was on before we left. She was taking too much medication for a simple problem…
She wasn’t getting her way.
There is no medication for being told ‘No’.
I received some news from Columbus that the picture that was entered into the Art Show sold for $200. Half of the proceeds will go to the gallery. I didn’t even want to sell it, the gallery director ended up doing it with my blessing and I am happy that it generated some money for them.
Maybe in the next couple of days I will share some road stories with you about the move. My son rode in the truck with me the entire way. What an adventure for both him and I. He finally got to see the Mississippi River from a view he could see. My jaw was just as open as his.
To all of the people on here whom are my friends and confidants…Thanks for taking time out of your lives to read a little about mine.