Just Another Recovering Person

I made a desperate phone call the other night to my sponsor in Ohio. I still consider him my sponsor and my friend. It went something like this.

Meetings are different here.
How so?
Not many people, drug court ordered, some meetings only last 20 minutes.
Have you been going to meetings?
On and Off.
Well is it their meetings or your meeting?
Is it their NA or your NA?

Ahhh..Just when my points of justification are at their sharpest, here comes some smart-ass to remind me I’m still self-centered enough to believe I think I have it all figured out.

Is it their recovery or my recovery?

I had mentioned in another post all the things I hadn’t been doing and was reminded by friends here and other places that I can always talk about doing them, it’s actually doing them that’s another. So I went to a meeting and there was me and another person there and we sat and talked about recovery.

Too often we can become ‘fixated’ on what a meeting is or isn’t. I have truly learned what it means when the NA Text talks about a meeting is one addict sharing their recovery with another addict. What is it we think happened when recovery meetings were first formed? In early AA meetings were held in different peoples homes and folks sat and talked about their problems of that day or week. In NA, meetings were held to the same accord. In early NA in Kansas City, Kansas meetings were held in the basements and attic’s of homes of people. Today we can get caught up in the ‘Political Correctness’ if you will of a meeting by the readings, chairpersons statement, group reports, and so on. It’s not that these aren’t needed, it’s just for me a stark reminder of what the 5th Tradition really is:

Our groups ought have but 1 primary purpose; To help carry the message to the addict who still suffers.

On another note, I have a job interview today at 2pm. I will let you know the details when I have them. I haven’t said anything about it because I just don’t want to get my hopes up.

I hope this post finds you all well.
Bob D.


Comments on: "Is It Their Recovery or Yours???" (4)

  1. Elizabeth said:

    Remember my perspective. I am three years from a meeting or any contact with someone who attends (except for you). I suppose I’ve becoome a “normal” person because as I read your post, my first impulse is to tell you that if the meetings aren’t giving you what you need, don’t go to them. However this sets off a buzzer in the back of my mind that says “NEVER say that”.
    When I couldn’t find what I needed in the rooms I went out and got it for myself elsewhere. I was advised that this was a selfish move that would lead to my demise.
    I am happy you are finding a little peace with the meeting situation. I am glad your sponsor helped. It just ruffles my feathers that you have a valid issue with the meetings and you’re being told that something is wrong with YOU. It’s an old aggravation that’s more about me and I’m sorry for bringing it up.
    Good luck on the interview.

    • I liked your post. And I like Elizabeth’s reply. She echoes what I have heard from many who are still clean who no longer attend NA-they just didn’t get what meetings can offer.
      I live in Phoenix, AZ. We have a thirty eight year old fellowship here with lots of people with lots of clean time. Sometimes I wonder if we don’t have more people with more than ten years than less than five years…Many of those I refer to here don’t attend and haven’t attended for many years. Why? They don’t need to, they haven’t heard much that’s progressive, they got weary of trying to relate their experiences that life does get better if we make it so.
      Some of us are atheists who don’t believe in God, HPs, the Steps, or a spiritual approach. We started a meeting-an NA meeting-that doesn’t use any of that. People share about their lives since they recovered completely and don’t have addiction any more. Some of us have accepted that we don’t have an incurable disease and we don’t identify as addicts any more. Whew!!!
      I gave up carrying the message that if you don’t want to be sick, quit saying you are sick and start saying you’ve overcome addiction and you are happy-for the most part, because you choose it-and well. I can’t help those who want to wallow in the brainwash they have an incurable, progressive, and fatal disease…

  2. Thanks for sharing your story, I’m sure that a lot of people can relate to how you’re feeling.

    Wishing the best on your interview!

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