I made a desperate phone call the other night to my sponsor in Ohio. I still consider him my sponsor and my friend. It went something like this.
Meetings are different here.
Not many people, drug court ordered, some meetings only last 20 minutes.
Have you been going to meetings?
On and Off.
Well is it their meetings or your meeting?
Is it their NA or your NA?
Ahhh..Just when my points of justification are at their sharpest, here comes some smart-ass to remind me I’m still self-centered enough to believe I think I have it all figured out.
Is it their recovery or my recovery?
I had mentioned in another post all the things I hadn’t been doing and was reminded by friends here and other places that I can always talk about doing them, it’s actually doing them that’s another. So I went to a meeting and there was me and another person there and we sat and talked about recovery.
Too often we can become ‘fixated’ on what a meeting is or isn’t. I have truly learned what it means when the NA Text talks about a meeting is one addict sharing their recovery with another addict. What is it we think happened when recovery meetings were first formed? In early AA meetings were held in different peoples homes and folks sat and talked about their problems of that day or week. In NA, meetings were held to the same accord. In early NA in Kansas City, Kansas meetings were held in the basements and attic’s of homes of people. Today we can get caught up in the ‘Political Correctness’ if you will of a meeting by the readings, chairpersons statement, group reports, and so on. It’s not that these aren’t needed, it’s just for me a stark reminder of what the 5th Tradition really is:
Our groups ought have but 1 primary purpose; To help carry the message to the addict who still suffers.
On another note, I have a job interview today at 2pm. I will let you know the details when I have them. I haven’t said anything about it because I just don’t want to get my hopes up.
I hope this post finds you all well.