Just Another Recovering Person

Louisiana is flat. I am sure of it. Just drive I-20 West from Jackson, Miss to Monroe, La and you will see what I mean. It’s also flat in several other ways as well, but I might get to that later.

I hope this post finds you all well. Things have been ok. Not great, not poor, but ok.
My wife continues to look for work while I am working. My daughter has gotten her temporary license and has also found a job at a local Sonic, which there seems to be on every corner here as well as Dollar General.
My son is currently in summer football conditioning for 7th grade. I had an interesting conversation with my supervisor today who shed some much-needed light on the culture here that has been baffling me.

Although the war between the North and the South ended decades ago, there is a racial divide and tension here that can be felt and seen on a daily basis. It is on both sides of the fence.
People here seem to be so far behind in the times as in important matters that affect the world or other parts of the US. It truly is an encapsulated area. People here are passionate about the families, their faith, and their crawfish.
I think an aire of apathy has set in, or at least general negativity. I haven’t lived in this state long enough to say I have a voice on how people feel here but I can see and feel something. Maybe it has to do with Katrina, or BP and The Evil Empire wanting to take another shit on the people of the gulf coast who seemingly have done nothing except help provide a large majority of the US with seafood the past I don’t know 100 years or so.

Just some thoughts I guess. My supervisor has been having me ride with him to show me the area and some of our clients businesses. We have had some good talks.

I haven’t been getting to many meetings but I am ok with that for right now. I have done a little stepwork, talk to my HP, and have been in pretty good spirits. I spoke with my sponsor on the phone the other night for about 45 minutes trying to paint a picture for him of recovery in a rural community. I think he understands a little better about what has gone on here.

Most days are ok. A routine has kind of set in. I know routines can be dangerous. I also know that isolation is the breeding ground of resentment and relapse. There are times I come home and want to run to a meeting only to know that there is not a meeting to run to. I am reminded of our literature talking about finding the ability to face life on its own terms right from the start. That is why when meetings were first formed, in most areas, they were not ‘Secret’ meetings. Schedules were made, handmade bulletins passed out, and a set of regular meetings in the same time and place began.

It’s not to say I have become delusional and don’t need NA or any other form of 12 Step meeting in my life. I am trying to apply the principles of the program in all my affairs as it is suggested. I am not that far removed from active addiction that if I sit quietly I can still feel the pain and desperation of my last night using.
It’s more that I need to choose my recovery network carefully because there is not quantity here, so I need to look for the quality and make the most of it when it occurs.

I am sorry I haven’t had a chance to read or comment on some of your blogs. I am certainly just as interested in what is going on in your lives as you are in mine so I am off to read and comment.

My posts have slowed down to once a week or so. Maybe twice a week if I am lucky. My friend Elz asked if I just didn’t have that much to write about or perhaps there are other things going on. Quite the opposite. I feel a 3 or 4 parter on a touchy subject coming up. One I have been afraid to tackle for a number of years.

Intimacy.

Take Care…..Bob D.

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Comments on: "The World is Round and Other Mistruths" (4)

  1. Hey Bob – great to read your post today. Was really interested in what you had to say about Louisiana. My husband almost got a job in Baton Rouge last year and we were up for the adventure. I think it would have been a big big culture change from the UK but I would have been fascinated as you are now. My major problem would be with the crayfish – I don’t eat fish of any kind – help!!
    Also understand where you are coming from re the support and am watching how you are looking for it within yourself. I have been in therapy for 3 years but know that at some point soon I will have to stand on my own two feet and find the answers to the questions I ask myself without the support of a professional.
    Life is a rollercoaster – thats for sure.
    Keep well
    Nora

    • beyondtheendoftheroad said:

      Thanks so much Nora. I’m thinking that the would have been too big of a difference from the UK to here that could be climbed.

  2. Elizabeth said:

    Try 11 days between posts my friend 🙂
    I didn’t realize how dependent I was on word from you until that word stopped coming so often. Though we have never met you have become extended family. When David and I discuss family we update each other on our parents, grandparents, siblings, and YOU.
    You are quite right about Monroe and the state of affairs in Louisiana in general. You forgot to mention that the unemployment rate is soaring there. I am sending love and compassion to your wife and am so thankful you found work when you did (i was worried).
    David and I celebrated 1 year of marriage last Saturday. I turn 32 on Thursday and David 41 on the 15th. Needless to say we are indulging with all the celebrations. I feel a cleanse coming on…
    you wrote ,”It’s not to say I have become delusional and don’t need NA or any other form of 12 Step meeting in my life.”

    Are you calling me delusional? 😉

    • beyondtheendoftheroad said:

      Maybe….:)
      Congrats on the 1 year Annv as well as the birthdays.
      I appreciate and value both you and David more than you will ever know.
      You have helped me grow as a person, and for that I am grateful.

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