As we drove past the houses of those much better off than me a tear came to my eyes….It was at that point I realized I could not provide her with this. What she really wanted or deserved, and unless the lottery came through with a lump sum, these might as well have been palaces made of gold. For right now we are where we are. Maybe we will buy a house someday, if we can afford to…Today just isn’t that day.
We drove past some places last night. Houses in a subdivision called Frenchman’s Bend. Built on a golf course for those who like to look at that sort of thing out of their rear windows. We ohhhed and ahhhed over some of them. I realize I can’t afford anything like that. I wondered what those people did for a living that afforded them that kind of house?
I am working for less money than I did up north, so is my wife. Some things are less expensive, others more. I’m not sure how it is all going to play out. I mean we are here now, and I believe I would be in worse shape if I tried to move back. We haven’t talked about that, I believe we are here to stay.
I told my wife about a past credit card this week. The guilt had been eating me alive. I hate money right now…….
Funny I’m down to a post a week and I thought I had so much to write about and I don’t. My life is changing, I am changing. Most days during the week I am so tired from work I come home and eat, watch a little tv, and then bed. The weekends are regulated to housework and the occasional something and then it’s back to the workweek.
I haven’t been attending as many meetings as I would like. I continue to do what I know to do. I believe I am going to look into AA. I just can’t seem to find what I am looking for here in NA with 2 people sitting in the room. My heart tells me I am giving up on the fellowship that helped save my life, but I need to be more practical than that.
We will see what happens.
I hope this post finds you all well.