Just Another Recovering Person

Here to Stay

As we drove past the houses of those much better off than me a tear came to my eyes….It was at that point I realized I could not provide her with this. What she really wanted or deserved, and unless the lottery came through with a lump sum, these might as well have been palaces made of gold. For right now we are where we are. Maybe we will buy a house someday, if we can afford to…Today just isn’t that day.

We drove past some places last night. Houses in a subdivision called Frenchman’s Bend. Built on a golf course for those who like to look at that sort of thing out of their rear windows. We ohhhed and ahhhed over some of them. I realize I can’t afford anything like that. I wondered what those people did for a living that afforded them that kind of house?

I am working for less money than I did up north, so is my wife. Some things are less expensive, others more. I’m not sure how it is all going to play out. I mean we are here now, and I believe I would be in worse shape if I tried to move back. We haven’t talked about that, I believe we are here to stay.

I told my wife about a past credit card this week. The guilt had been eating me alive. I hate money right now…….

Funny I’m down to a post a week and I thought I had so much to write about and I don’t. My life is changing, I am changing. Most days during the week I am so tired from work I come home and eat, watch a little tv, and then bed. The weekends are regulated to housework and the occasional something and then it’s back to the workweek.
I haven’t been attending as many meetings as I would like. I continue to do what I know to do. I believe I am going to look into AA. I just can’t seem to find what I am looking for here in NA with 2 people sitting in the room. My heart tells me I am giving up on the fellowship that helped save my life, but I need to be more practical than that.
We will see what happens.

I hope this post finds you all well.

Bob D.


Comments on: "Here to Stay" (4)

  1. Elizabeth said:

    My brother owns his own company and is in sales. He has a million dollar house. Trust me it’s nice but totally overated. My friend Deborah’s husband wrote a book and made a lot of money off it. He was even on the Daily Show with Jon Stewart. They live in a 3 million dollar house in a beautiful part of town. We go there a couple times a year for parties and because my boys and her boys get along but again, the glamor wears off quickly and in the end, it’s just a house. I mean who really needs 3 fireplaces anyway? The media room is pretty cool though 😉

    I look forward to hearing your opinion of AA. I think you may really like it there. Try not to beat yourself up for bailing on NA. You will always be there for NA if the group needs you, and you may be able to do some good elsewhere where you are equally needed.

  2. I know exactly how you feel – you should see some of the houses on the lake here in Geneva ..pew, they could house a football team! Having recently moved away I really empathise with how you are feeling. And I hate money too. We have moved to one of the most expensive countries in the world – eating steak is a luxury – can you believe its about $50 for a steak and chips in an average restaurant here? Madness! At least the cheese is cheap 🙂

    I’m sorry NA has been disappointing. I’m not surprised they looked for you for guidance. I know online we do too! Best of luck with AA – I know there is a difference between the two groups but the end aim is the same…remember, it’ll take a year to feel settled. Well, thats what they say…

  3. Just checking in. 🙂 Love ya Bob.

  4. Money is the center of our world but it does not have to be the center of our own individual lives. We can be happy with less. Much happier than those who live in “those” houses (the ones I will never afford either). I’m sorry you are going through such a tough time right now. I keep you and your family in my prayers. God bless you.

    Give AA a try if you are not prospering in the NA meetings. The message is the same. 🙂

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