“Life can be painful. It’s like walking down a road of broken glass.”
Dr. William H. Dye
I’ve been thinking about this quote since I heard it last Sunday. A lot has gone on and I have been neglect in posting. As you know I took a second part-time job. I have been putting in 30 hours a week in addition to my 40 hour a week regular job. I feel ok, tired, but ok.
The business I work for Wal-****, runs in spite of itself. We are constantly short-handed and there is a 5/1 ratio of workers meaning there is 1 good worker to every 5 who do nothing. Everything I have learned there I learned in 2 days on the job watching a mentor and then was put on the schedule by myself. It truly is learning by fire.
People watching there is hilarious. There is no mood music, no clever marketing scheme, it is ‘Shopping by Attrition’. People enter what seems to be a zombie-like trance upon entering the store and seemingly buy items they don’t really need. People say the craziest things while in the store, out loud even. They talk about court, crazy relatives, sex, money, lack of money, hunger, and yet worst of all is the crying children.
Children seem to automatically go into crying mode in Wal-****. There are sobbers, wailers, shriekers, and screamers. The parents tend to ignore them, leaving the child to cry for the duration of the shopping experience.
On some more difficult news. The family dog, Wally, passed away on 3/3/11. He finally succumbed to heart-worms. We are all heartbroken over this because he simply was the best dog I have ever been around.
Which leads me to this…….
There have been times in my life I have seen the work of a Higher Power, God, if you will in the voices, actions, and events of others and through life experience. On Thursday it was the first time, that I can recall, that God actually spoke to me. After discovering the dog had passed and waking up my wife to tell her the news I stepped outside to gather myself and prepare to help tell the kids.
Angry I called out to whatever was there and said….
You know God this really sucks. I have no idea of the why. We did everything we were supposed to do and we still get this. This is bullshit.
He could have died in the pound, or died with your family, this is what was meant to be.
I heard it as plain as day in my mind. A voice as calm as could be.
Now some will say I am hearing things from working too long. Others will say it was my conscience trying to reason with a difficult situation. You can call it what you want, I know what it was.
After that event I wondered why God would take that moment to talk to me, after everything that has occurred in my life? Why this event, the death of a dog we only had for 9 months? Why now?
Because life can sometimes be painful, like walking down a road of broken glass. Because the only thing Wally wanted and got from us was a love that comes from the heart without conditions, without expectations.
When I removed my selfishness from the equation it allowed my heart to be open to receive the message I was intended to hear.
Everything is Temporary.
We continue to plod along this path God has set us on. I have stopped wondering about a lot of things and am trying to deal with life more day by day than week by week. My wife and I had a decent talk about things this week. Our move here has not turned out quite as she expected. She has been coming to terms with this as family members continue to show their true colors. She is disappointed. We all thought there would be more to this than what has appeared but as I told her we will give it one more year. I want to get Lorna graduated and out of the house before we make any further decisions.
Lorna will be 17 in April and we will have 1 year left with her. It seems like a long time but I know in reality it isn’t.
David did a wonderful self-portrait, which I do not have a copy of, that is going to be entered in a National Art Program through his school. I am really proud of him. I hope to get a digital copy of it soon for you to see.
I hope this post finds you all well, and I hope to be in better touch.