Just Another Recovering Person

Everything is Temporary

“Life can be painful. It’s like walking down a road of broken glass.”
Dr. William H. Dye

I’ve been thinking about this quote since I heard it last Sunday. A lot has gone on and I have been neglect in posting. As you know I took a second part-time job. I have been putting in 30 hours a week in addition to my 40 hour a week regular job. I feel ok, tired, but ok.

The business I work for Wal-****, runs in spite of itself. We are constantly short-handed and there is a 5/1 ratio of workers meaning there is 1 good worker to every 5 who do nothing. Everything I have learned there I learned in 2 days on the job watching a mentor and then was put on the schedule by myself. It truly is learning by fire.

People watching there is hilarious. There is no mood music, no clever marketing scheme, it is ‘Shopping by Attrition’. People enter what seems to be a zombie-like trance upon entering the store and seemingly buy items they don’t really need. People say the craziest things while in the store, out loud even. They talk about court, crazy relatives, sex, money, lack of money, hunger, and yet worst of all is the crying children.

Children seem to automatically go into crying mode in Wal-****. There are sobbers, wailers, shriekers, and screamers. The parents tend to ignore them, leaving the child to cry for the duration of the shopping experience.

On some more difficult news. The family dog, Wally, passed away on 3/3/11. He finally succumbed to heart-worms. We are all heartbroken over this because he simply was the best dog I have ever been around.

Which leads me to this…….

There have been times in my life I have seen the work of a Higher Power, God, if you will in the voices, actions, and events of others and through life experience. On Thursday it was the first time, that I can recall, that God actually spoke to me. After discovering the dog had passed and waking up my wife to tell her the news I stepped outside to gather myself and prepare to help tell the kids.
Angry I called out to whatever was there and said….

You know God this really sucks. I have no idea of the why. We did everything we were supposed to do and we still get this. This is bullshit.

God replied…

He could have died in the pound, or died with your family, this is what was meant to be.

I heard it as plain as day in my mind. A voice as calm as could be.
Now some will say I am hearing things from working too long. Others will say it was my conscience trying to reason with a difficult situation. You can call it what you want, I know what it was.

After that event I wondered why God would take that moment to talk to me, after everything that has occurred in my life? Why this event, the death of a dog we only had for 9 months? Why now?

Because life can sometimes be painful, like walking down a road of broken glass. Because the only thing Wally wanted and got from us was a love that comes from the heart without conditions, without expectations.
When I removed my selfishness from the equation it allowed my heart to be open to receive the message I was intended to hear.

Everything is Temporary.

We continue to plod along this path God has set us on. I have stopped wondering about a lot of things and am trying to deal with life more day by day than week by week. My wife and I had a decent talk about things this week. Our move here has not turned out quite as she expected. She has been coming to terms with this as family members continue to show their true colors. She is disappointed. We all thought there would be more to this than what has appeared but as I told her we will give it one more year. I want to get Lorna graduated and out of the house before we make any further decisions.
Lorna will be 17 in April and we will have 1 year left with her. It seems like a long time but I know in reality it isn’t.

David did a wonderful self-portrait, which I do not have a copy of, that is going to be entered in a National Art Program through his school. I am really proud of him. I hope to get a digital copy of it soon for you to see.

I hope this post finds you all well, and I hope to be in better touch.

Take Care,
Bob D.


Comments on: "Everything is Temporary" (9)

  1. Elizabeth said:

    I am glad to hear from you and it sounds like you are doing well despite having a tough time all around you. Personally, I am no more happy about you working 70 hours a week than I would be if you were using. I am concerned about your health. However, it’s your life and all I can do is sit in the stands and cheer you on. You can always count on me to do that.
    I’m so sorry about your dog. I do believe that it is the voice of God that you heard. Does that suprise you? One of the ways I make peace with David’s diagnosis is to remember that he was always going to get Parkinsons, and that his choice to stop using, lose weight, get healthy and remarry does not change his destiny, it only makes his life happier which is something I want.

    Yesterday I went to my moms to find her in a confused space, unbalanced,with a racing heart and fever. David and I took her to the emergency room. She had sepsis (systemic infection) brought on by the flu and pneumonia. She will be in the hospital for 3 days but will be OK. This is the second time I has found her in this kind of state, the first was that day my tooth broke and I stopped by the house to pick up money only to find her on the floor delerious, remember? It is eerie to know she would never have called for help…

    One more year with Lorna, then were will you go I wonder?

    • beyondtheendoftheroad said:

      I do remember. I certainly hope your mother gets well soon. You of all people I would believe to tell me the truth about this situation. You have a track record of my life in recovery as well as anyone else. My thoughts are always with you and David. As for me..Figi maybe?!?

  2. This post is inspiring. We all need to listen and it is beautiful that you were listening.

    I am sorry about your dog. I have five now, and regardless of what mind knows about dog lifetimes, I dread losing them.

    Everything really is temporary, and as a Wal-**** shopper, I can tell you that everything you can buy there is temporary. I hope you hang in there.

    • beyondtheendoftheroad said:

      Thanks Carl for your comment. Your right it is temporary purchases because more arrive every day from China!

  3. Thank you. I needed that.

  4. Hi Bob!

    Long time – I too have been off the radar for a good too many weeks. Its great to come and find you again and see how things are going. I am so sorry to hear about Wally but God was right – you chose each other and he came to you to spend the best 9 months of his life. It must have been heartwrenchingly difficult to say goodbye but wonderful to treasure the history you had together.

    Thanks for the insight into life at Wallxxxx – it must be great people watching as you say – i bet you get all sorts. When I see kids crying in shopping centres it really upsets me. They get told off by their parents and poor things didnt even ask to be there! All part of the joy of the experience right?!

    Good for you for hanging on in there with your life change. We are still adjusting in our new life too but I am trying to treasure the moment because having a heroin addict for a sister has made me realise just how precious and tenuous it all is!

    Heres to keeping in better touch.
    Nora x

    • beyondtheendoftheroad said:

      Thanks Nora. I was hoping for better news on your end. Keep hanging on to hope.

  5. PS: Love the new site design. very slick!!

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