Just Another Recovering Person

As I sit in in the hotel and wonder about home there are some things that bring me comfort………

I remember several years ago watching a YouTube video of The Millineum Falcon flying over San Francisco Bay and I thought to myself…Nothing on the Internet is real anymore. That was until I watched the Nick Berg beheading on an extremist website and vomited in the trashcan beside my desk. The advent of Social media, MySpace, Facebook, WordPress, and thousands of others like it have literally sparked a revolution in the way we communicate, do business, and live. But there is nothing that compares to sitting down with someone over a good meal and communicating joys, sorrows, hopes, and dreams which is exactly what I was able to do last night with Elizabeth and David, two people whom I met over the internet.

I first ‘met’ Elizabeth on MySpace some 5 years ago. I was posting random blogs of early, nonsensical recovery when I stumbled across her page. Fo some crazy reason we subscribed to each others pages and the rest is the stuff that Internet Viral lore is made of. The real truth is we were sounding boards for each others joy and insanity. She tested my way of thinking in a way others hadn’t. Most would either blatantly disagree or agree with equal helpings of patronization, but not Elz, as I have come to call her.

I had an opportunity to travel to the Dallas area this week on business and was fortunate enough to be able to sit down face to face with her and her husband. The craziest thing was I was nervous before going into the restaurant. I haven’t the slightest clue why, after all, I really have left nothing out of my posts that I wouldn’t or haven’t shared with others in my life. We met at a great place named Gloria’s which I highly recomend if you are in the Addison area.

After finally meeting David and Elizabeth I am more convinced now than ever that the path to recovery, in any form, is communication from the heart. I blogged once that Stephen Hawking reminded us that the only difference between us and other animals is our ability to talk. I would go one step further, it is that wordless language that we speak of in recovery called empathy. It’s funny, I did really have to say a word and felt like I was understood rather than trying to make people understand. In reality, that’s what I crave, not the ego driven attention of days of old, but rather to feel comforted by the company I keep. We talked about that, about wanting a sense of comfort in our lives, and knowing that life in itself is a series of events that can take me or place me in that comfort zone based upon my perception of reality and feeling based impulses.

To David and Elizabeth……
Thanks so much for taking the time to finally meet the guy behind the keyboard and a few random photos. I enjoyed our time together and will cherish it until the next time.

Things at home are tiresome. My daughter felt it necessary to cause problems on Fathers Day. My wife told her that she needed to leave to defuse a situation. My daughter feels like she has been thrown out, so packed a bag and left for the night. She returned home yesterday (Monday) for a shorth time only to leave again and hasn’t called.

I no longer bear the guilt of this situation. I am free of it. My wife is having a difficult time with it. I told her….In spite of what anyone else thinks or says about the situation…The only person I lay down with at night…is me. I know what the truth is and isn’t. It doesn’t really matter what anyone else thinks because they aren’t living my life.

The training that I am on for business is long and boring. Boredom leads to mischief, as is evident with a Hotel Bar full of people. I watch and listen as drinks are poured and money is spent in the hundreds and I hear the call of the keyboard one more time so that I can communicate………….

Take Care,
Bob D.


Comments on: "Tamalaes, Plantains, and Friends" (3)

  1. Elizabeth said:

    I was also nervous to meet you, though once we settled in it did not feel like a first meeting. Thank you so much for sharing your life on this blog, and for coming out to meet us. Know that you always have a place to crash if you’re passing through Dallas. I have a feeling we’ll meet up again in Monroe further down the road.

    • Hi Bob….

      A few reflections…. first off, I too met a blog buddy face to face earlier this year when I travelled to Hawaii. My wife and I met Dick B for lunch and had a great dialogue and laughs about life, recovery, and our relationships with God.

      The web provides us with an opportunity to connect with like-minded people with relative ease and speed. We don’t to through the normal investment of time and effort of getting to know someone face to face so we come to know who we connect with and who we don’t rather quickly. If they are someone we connect with, the opportunity to meet face to face is a privilege should it happen.

      Secondly, I can relate to the complexity of events you describe about your life. I feel I got hit with similar complexity, although different events. I caused 3k damage to my company vehicle and another car that I am responsible to pay. My wife and I had a big fight over dumb little stuff. A sibling won’t speak to me for reasons I don’t yet understand. Etc.
      Yet I remind myself that the times I felt most overwhelmed in my life, have always been times that yielded some great benefit once the smoke cleared. My job in the mean time is to keep focused on what is in front of me, stay a participant in and contributor to life, and surrender the rest of the noise in my head.
      Every time. And I mean every time, something amazing unfolds… eventually. So you are probably ramping up for some kind of blessing.


  2. The internet never ceases to amaze me with its power and the stupidity with which people use it. But there are a few like you and me who use the internet to communicate. To reach out. To be reached. I like how you talk about your blog friend. It has a sweet innocence about it.

    About your daughter, I used to be a difficult child. I had all sorts of issues with my dad. What can I say, I grew up. I love my dad. Respect him for all that he’s been through and done for me. I have never said sorry for all the bad things I did when I was younger, simply make it up by telling him nice things now 🙂

    I came to your blog through your comment on mine. Gonna read some more.

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